Where's my MF'N SHOVEL!?!?!?!?!?!?

I know, I know...you watch the news...you see the forecast...you go to bed and somehow between nighty-night and snooze button you completely forget that there is going to be at least 6 - 8 inches of fresh powder before you open your eyes and finally get your ass out of bed. I awoke this morning just like that... I watched the news last night and I saw the forecast all weekend long calling for a winter storm watch to be in effect but did I prepare myself for what I was going to face this morning when I stepped out onto my front porch?...NO! Why? Because I am a dumbass. We talk about them every day during our time on the air together...the stupid people that find new ways every day to make us feel better about ourselves if even for only a little while because at least if we cannot be rich...successful...or a combination of both there is someone out there to make us "feel" more intelligent. Well today that person appears to be me. I completely forgot about the snow...even though it was falling when I went to bed last night. I didn't put my boots out or my shovel inside the door on the sun porch...hahahaha, sun that is funny. I "did" prepare the coffee pot so I at least had a piping hot coffee to spill on my self as I slipped out onto the stairs and into the pile of newly drifted snow that had completely covered my steps and walkway...to those of you keeping score...that would make me a double-dumbass. Anyway with all the pissing and moaning over with it was time to get to shoveling. I made my way to the garage and grabbed my trusty bright orange weapon of choice and went at the driveway knowing I had to leave soon less I be late for work on top of being sore assed and covered in hot coffee. I decided right then and there that I would soldier through and shovel enough around my car to get into it and at least get the stairs uncovered so that I would not repeat my Chris Farley on skates routine on my way back out to my car. Mission accomplished...and no I didn't raise any banner. I returned to the warmth of my house...I cleaned up and changed into dry clean clothes...kissed the dog and patted my wife on the head and out the door I went with a fresh mug of coffee. I was the king of the world!!! All the blunders of the morning had been erased and I was going to be at work in plenty of time. I had started the car earlier so it was nice and warm inside...I changed my radio from the sissy crap my daughter listens to everytime she gets into my car to the FB&HW show so I could laugh at someone else for awhile and headed out of the driveway towards the frozen tundra that awaited me... Ever get that feeling you just forgot something? You internally scratch your head thinking whatever could it be but nothing comes to mind...? As I hit the snow bank that had been kindly deposited at the end of my driveway by the loving plowmen of my town it hit me...well it hit my windshield...my fresh cup of coffee that I had left on the roof of my car was now cascading down like the snow itself was dropping a deuce on me. As I yelled words that even the late George Carlin would have deamed unacceptable I plodded on...over the snow bank, into the road and off to work...I never like that mug anyway.